Keepin' It Real Friday: You Stick to Your Children, I'll stick to mine.

HEL-LO!

I'm ready today. 

 Ready to chat it up! (with a monkey, I suppose)

OKAY! 

Let's just get right down to it.

"KEEPIN' IT REAL FRIDAY":
#5: You Stick to Your Children, I'll Stick to Mine!

What's one thing you don't realize when you first become a mom?

You don't realize that this child comes with a sense of humor FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, and is also introducing you to the jungle of "Momhood!" 

Momhood is the place where every mom goes to tell the stories of her successes, woes, triumphs and trials. Many times... it's a good place to be. Many times... Well, "It's a jungle out there." 

I had no idea that from the moment I became a mom I would be BOMBARDED
 with mom tips, tricks, pointers, ideas, YOU NAME IT!

Now, don't get me wrong. I needed it. I mean, please... 
Does this look like the face of a girl who knows what she's doing?

NOPE! 

Cute? I know. ;) But completely exhausted and oblivious. There will be plenty of women who will say it was no big deal, no big adjustment. And it's true. I really didn't feel like it was either. HOWEVER, when I look back now at myself with my first baby, I realize that I literally had no freakin' idea WHAT I was doing. 

And I'm sorry. Anyone who tells you otherwise, is full of it. Your first baby is full of surprises for (what I'm assuming) will be for the rest of your life! James was my first baby, my first toddler, and he will be my first teenager. So let's be honest, I have NO clue what to expect, and parenting is ALL about trial and error.

(well... and picking battles, but that's for another time). 
 

So really, you feel more like this...

HAHAHAHA! 

That's how moms feel once the meds have worn off.

So, yes... I needed the help from my precious momhood peers. But, sometimes, TOO many times, it was unsolicited. It was a myriad of different examples of "Don't do that, and don't do this. But do do this, and do do that." AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!  

Forget it. Just run for the hills! This parenting stuff is for the birds.

BUT SERIOUSLY,

I needed the help then and I need it now. However, I have my people I go to for help. And most people are that way! So... if people aren't asking your opinion... maybe you shouldn't offer it.

Jus' sayin'... 

 And at least if you're going to offer it, ask the person if that's okay. 

Can't we all just be a little more self-aware? PA-LEEZE!!!!

I have a feeling that another "Keepin' It Real" post will be coming about this shortly.... But what I'm saying is this: Maybe we can remember that we're not all at the same stage in life? 

I mean, is that mom with ONE two year-old child REALLY giving me advice on my two year-old who is sandwiched in between a four year-old and a 10 month-old. IS SHE???? Oh... but she is. 

Did she really just tell me how to get my baby to hold still while nursing when she doesn't have two hoodlums climbing on her back while SHE'S nursing?

And the same thing goes for me. I can't tell a mom how to parent a teenager. Heck, I can't tell a mom how to parent a six year-old. Why? 'CAUSE I'M NOT THERE!!!!
 
GET THE POINT? 

Unsolicited advice = BAD
(And it really only makes the advice giver look like an idiot) 
 

I know, I know. Some of you are thinking, "Well look at you offering unsolicited advice." Once again...

  
IT'S MY BLOG!!!!

Honestly though, those of you who really know me, know that I don't ever tell you what to do with your lives, children, careers, etc. Everyone is free to make their own choices. Some choices will make you happy, some... not so much. I care deeply about my friends, and when I am asked for my opinion, I GLADLY share my HONEST opinion, but otherwise... I keep my mouth shut, and I show my support.

 

So... my question.

Why, WHY when we become mothers do we think we know what's best for every other child out there? 

Are you their mom? Do you know their personalities like I do? Do you know the conversation he/she and I had before we got to the party? Did you know they had a fever before we arrived at the grocery store? Did you know that I promised them a movie even though (HEAVEN FORBID) they are losing brain cells (no doubt)? Did you know they earned that money that you thought I just "freely gave them" as I'm spoiling my children? And what if I am spoiling my children? What's it to you? 

WHY DO YOU CARE????!!!!  
 

This is a major pet peeve of mine, IF you couldn't tell. So... How 'bout you just stick to parenting your children, and I'll stick to parenting mine? If they are not infringing on each other's rights to be happy, I think we're okay. 

If YOU wouldn't do that with YOUR child... GOOD FOR YOU!

I guess you're lucky you don't have my child then... 

Oh wait... they're lucky they don't have you, I guess.

Let's face it... 

 

NO ONE knows what the heck they are doing! 

NOT UNTIL THEY ARE DOING IT! 

(And even then, that's questionable). So let's not act like we do.  

    

Seriously though!!! OUR children have been sent to US for a reason. Whether that's for us to learn the lesson, or for them, I can't really say. But I can say this much. 

I NEED James, Alexis and Kent 

just as much (if not more) than they need me. 

Signing off... <3

   

 

      

    

Keepin' It Real Friday: There IS Hope

You know, I was getting on FB early this afternoon to post about what a wonderful day it had been. Lots of laughter, Bryan had just finished his finals, and now we had a month of freedom, and today was just feelin'.... 

GOOD!

I had all sorts of sassy ideas for my blog entry today, debating which one was going to be the 

LUCKY WINNER!!!

And then I saw the news. The horrific news of the shooting in Connecticut. A mindless and careless act of violence taken out on innocent victims... and on top of it, children??? That was just enough to send me right over the edge.  

President Obama is right. Our country has been through these types of incidents too many times, and the pain these tragic events are causing is real and worldwide. 

So I am here to "Keep it Real."

#4 "There IS Hope"

Today... I am DOWN IN THE DUMPS!

There are a million things running through my head right now, but I don't want to discuss most of them. 

I simply want to say that today...

I am sad. 

I am more than sad. I am DEVASTATED! And that's okay. It's healthy to feel these emotions. I need nothing more than: a) to admit the fact that my heart is hurting, b) to write in my blog (a little different this time) as a stress reliever, and c) to "keep it real." 

I know I talk a lot about how my kids drive me crazy. (And they do!) However, I still love them more than life itself. 

I would give any and all of my happiness if I knew it could make them happy.  

And the very thought of someone harming them makes me cringe. It makes me angry, it makes me sick to my stomach, and it fills my very heart with hatred towards anyone who would do such a thing.

But the fact is, I can't live my life with hatred in my heart. 

I won't!

So how do I find hope and turn this ship around? 

Please keep in mind: I have no connection whatsoever to the victims in CT, yet I CANNOT stop thinking about them. I cannot help but feel terribly negative feelings towards the shooter and anyone else who's ever done the same type of thing. And although those negative emotions are normal (and even healthy) to feel for awhile, 

I'm going to have to bounce back.

And this is just me!!! A complete outsider! Imagine how family members and friends of the victims feel?!!!

I can't.

So here's where I am REALLY going to "keep it real" for you. Most of you should know by now that I won't say or write something that I don't truly believe. 

What I am about to write, I know to be real. I recognize that others will not feel anywhere near the same way, but that's okay. Once again, it's my blog, and I HAVE to be real to myself and to any who may read it. 

As I have contemplated the lives of these children and their families, two things keep running through my mind. 

1) This life is not the end, and 

2) Families are meant to be together forever.

Sure, this may be easy for me to say, but it wasn't always.

You want real?

I AM A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS

I have never been one to make a huge announcement stating my religion. I usually just let people find out on their own. However, after today's events have transpired, I feel as though it is necessary for me to keep this aspect of my life as real as possible...

Because the two aforementioned thoughts give me hope.

Here's real:

The children who were killed today will see their families again. It won't take the pain and hurt away now, but it can provide a feeling of HOPE that these most precious relationships we've formed on this earth cannot come to such an abrupt end.

And next... I believe that Our Father in Heaven designed the family unit in order to provide happiness. Almost every one of my favorite memories is tied to a family member of some kind. So why (if this life is not the end) should our happiness with family members end here on earth as well? It doesn't have to. I have hope in a Supreme Being who is more concerned about our welfare than we could ever fathom.

I am "Keeping It Real"...

Angels are among us... and

THERE IS HOPE!!!!

Signing off... <3

Keepin' It Real Friday: "Why Are Some Women Just So Mean and Nasty?"

I know..... I know.....

Let it Be Known!

I missed a week of my "weekly" Keepin' It Real entries 
(after only two weeks). 

Forgive me???

   How can you resist a face like that?

To anyone who actually does read my entries (I think I know of 5 LOL...), I truly am sorry. :(

Quick Recap? Last Friday

• Up at 5:30 am to clean the kitchen, sweep, mop and clean the bathrooms. You want anything done around here? Has to be before the kids wake up, or after they go to sleep.     
• 9 am, I hosted preschool.  
• 11 am - lunch and babysitting (for a dear friend, and I WOULD do it again, so she knows!)  
• 2 pm - clean up the house again. 
• 3 pm - make tortillas for dinner and clean kitchen.  
• 4pm - make playdough and clean up kitchen.
• 5 pm - make dinner. 
• 6:30pm - fight children to go to sleep. 
• 7 pm - clean house and kitchen.
• And 8 pm - Start writing in my blog (write, delete, write, delete, write, delete... we'll get to that.) 
• 11pm - Ticked that I still have NOTHING... 
• 11:30 pm - give it up and go to sleep.

Literally, that was my day last Friday. In fact, that's what most of my days are like now (minus the blogging). No joke. Many people have asked me what having three kids is like, and that's it. No breathing room, no time for yourself.... literally. I used to think that's how it was when I only had one, but no. I didn't get it then. And I'm sure people with older kids, with more than three, or single parents, who are working and raising their children alone, are thinking I still don't know what hard is. It's all relative. I know some people think I'm over-exaggerating. Oh, believe me. I'm not. I'm not saying my life isn't easy in so many ways, but don't think for a second that any decision I make in my life are selfish anymore. I don't have time to make selfish decisions. 

But THAT... is for a different "Keepin' It Real" post. 

That's not the topic I'm feelin' today.

Today... I want to get to the nitty gritty...

#3 "Why Are Some Women Just So Mean and Nasty?" 

Okay... So Here's the HONEST TRUTH!

The reason I was writing for three hours last week is because I started worrying about offending someone. I kept writing stuff and then thought, "I can't write that!" 

But tonight... I don't care. For many reasons:  

1. I'm speaking the truth, and if someone doesn't like it, it's probably because they are part of the problem. 
2. It's my blog. Get off it if you don't like it.
3. Anyone who really knows me, knows that a new thing ticks me off every 30 minutes, and I'm not afraid to wear my emotions on my sleeve.
4. If you don't love that about me, find a new friend because...  
5. More people like that about me than people who don't.   
6. I can't write as though I'm someone I'm not. It wouldn't be me. 
7. This is a "Keepin' It Real" post! HEL-LO-O???? Nuff said.  

So... Moving O-on...

What is Wrong With Women??? 

 Where is this coming from? I'll tell you where it's coming from. I know a woman who is "supposed" to be "close" to me who has yet to call my TWO YEAR-OLD daughter, cute. 

WHAT'S THE HANG UP? SHE'S HAD TWO YEARS?!!!

You mean to tell me that my daughter who has a personality bigger than life itself has never made you think she's cute? Even in the slightest?!!!

I'm sorry. This face? Not cute? You're right. She's not. 

She's Absolutely Gorgeous!!!!

I know she's mine and all, and I'm supposed to think that, but I don't have to think it. I know it.

So what's the problem? Why can't I just drop this friend? It's too complicated, AND she's not the only one who's done it, AND that's not what matters right now. The problem is this... 

SOMEWHERE along the line, SOMEONE  told women that if they compliment someone else, they devalue themselves....           or something.

What is the Deal?!!!

 I ask for your forgiveness in advance as I will have MANY posts in the future encompassing this same thought. 

Just PLEASE tell me what it is about women that think we feel as though we have to be the best at everything? The best looking, the best dressed, the most popular, the best cook, the best mom with the best marriage, the best job, the best proposal story, the best dressed children, etc, etc, etc. But seriously, who the heck ingrained in our heads that being "the best" is all that matters?

Now Don't Get Me Wrong!

This is not all women! Notice my title says SOME! 

BUT, I know WAY TOO MANY LIKE THIS!

And I'm thinkin' 

It's Gotta Stop!!!!

 Some women are way too negative about themselves - put themselves down WAY too often. It's sad.

It's just as sad, however, when you watch and listen to other women who put others down to try to make themselves feel better.
 

But I'm not even talking about them either! (Today)

I'm talking about the silent women. The women who will ONLY talk positive about their own children, house, husband, food, job, money, you name it... but won't SAY A WORD about ANYTHING good that happens to anyone else. 

So.... What is it?!

I've got one answer and one only. 

ENVY

There really is no other explanation. When we can't be happy for someone else's successes, it really only means one thing - we are just mad that whatever it was didn't happen to us. 

Why Do I Know?

Because I'm "Keepin' It Real" and I have felt these same emotions. 

However!!!! I have stopped them before they've taken control of my actions!

 

What a sad life it would be to lead - happy when others are sad, silent and writhing inside when others are happy? Sure doesn't sound fun to me.

 Is it just me? Am I the only one who has come in contact with these women?

    Last point of all....

I DRAW THE LINE AT CHILDREN!

I don't care who you are. 

Children are PEOPLE! 

People who need love and respect. People who need to know other people care for them. People who need to hear they are beautiful, charming, smart and funny!

PEOPLE like YOU and ME!  

So to you women I say... How dare you?!!

 How dare you compare my child to yours?

How DARE you disrespect my children because you're afraid it will make your children look less special!

EVERY child is beautiful. Every child is smart. Every child has something to offer this world. Every child is needed for some grand purpose. Your child is no better than anyone else's. And NO compliment you give to any other child is hurting YOUR child. As long as you are still building your child up while complimenting the others, you will be doing nothing but teaching your children how to be HAPPY for other people's successes. 

    EVERY Woman and Child Is Beautiful. 

Signing off... <3 

    

 

 

  

Keepin' It Real Friday: Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way

 Update!!! Ever since my last blog entry, I have had a very calm AND FUN week with my kids. They have been well-behaved, cuddly, sweet and a joy to be around. I still stand by every word I wrote because let's face it, being a mom is hard, and not every week is like this.
 But it is definitely rewarding!  

MOST of my friends have been very humorous this last week as they've tagged me in their posts in order to inform me that they're keeping it real. I thank you for that. It's fun to read. Some others have gone OVER THE TOP with their positive-ness in the opposite direction (I'm sure just to prove a point), but whatever, I don't have time to deal with that. 

Dishonesty is transparent.

WHICH....  brings me to my next "Keepin' It Real" entry:

#2 Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way 

 Almost eight years ago, my husband and I decided we wanted to marry each other. I was the one for him, and he was the one for me. (Awwwwwww....) It was a pretty awesome day (considering the fact that that was the first time I actually dropped the "L-Bomb" too). BIG day! 

It was that same day that Bryan asked me a very important question that I'll never forget. 

"Do you promise to always be right by my side serving others?"

I said, "Of course!" 

Now, I will keep it real. A part of me said that just cause I didn't want to lose him. I mean, what did he mean by ALWAYS serving others? Was I going to be giving up my coveted husband/wife time to clean someone's house after they've moved? I don't even want to clean my OWN house, let alone someone else's! So get real... that wasn't really going to happen. 

However, I do REALLY enjoy helping people, so I thought, 

"Yeah. I can do that." 
 

And then, it happened. The beginning of our service journey.

  
We have been so happy ever since we met each other. And 

I REALLY AM BEING REAL!

Anyone who really knows us, knows that we truly have a wonderful relationship and love each other dearly.   

 Sure... we have our disagreements. I go through nights that I give him the silent treatment while he's completely confused. But we are completely and utterly happy. There has never been a day that I have woken up beside him wondering what I got myself into.  

Want to know the secret? Hahaha! I know we've only been married 7 1/2 years, and many more trials are to come, 

but I know what's keeping us happy. And that is... 

We both LOOOOOVE to serve.

I really give most credit to my amazing (hot) husband who would literally take his shirt off his back for anyone.

Heck, he'd take my shirt off too. (In a completely non-sexual way)  

LITERALLY,  

He puts anything and anyone before himself on the priority list.

He has been that way for as long as his mom can remember. And I have never seen him to act any differently. If you really know my husband, you know I'm speaking the truth.

I have always had a very sensitive heart. (Many of you may be laughing as you read that). BUT, I mean in the sense that I am VERY aware of those who are less fortunate than I. My parents raised me in a home where I learned excellent work ethic, and used it to help others in need. 

I never came anywhere near as selfless as Bryan... 

until recently. 

 Service has become second nature to Bryan and I. We look and pray for service opportunities on a daily basis. Sometimes we find them, sometimes we don't. 

The days that we don't... we're not REALLY looking,  

because the opportunities ARE out there..   

Where is she going with this?

Here it is:

I WISH EVERYONE KNEW

that real service is the key to happiness. 

Not the service that helps you save face. 

Not the service that is convenient to you. 

The service that truly makes you sacrifice.

The service that IS NOT convenient, but needed. 

So, why is this blog entry entitled 

"Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way?"  

Because I CAN'T STAND people who only serve when it is convenient to them, or only when it makes them look good. It drives me up the wall! 

This is why I stated at the beginning of this entry:

  
Dishonesty is transparent. 

I want you to know that you are not fooling anyone if you're not serving out of love. People WILL read right through it. 

 I mean... I am constantly in shock, AWE, jaw is dropped open with the amount of hypocrisy I see on the give/take scale. I HATE doing something for someone only to see them ungrateful, selfish, asking for more, and not "Paying It Forward."
 

Let It Be Known! I am "Keepin' It Real"

This is what I REALLY want to say to you when you are being selfish. 

   

• "I have children too. Guaranteed one of them has lost sleep because I decided to help you out."
• "I'm sick of working around your schedule. Time you worked around mine."
• "I'm sorry. I didn't know my life revolved around yours."
• "I didn't get the memo that your family was more important than mine."
• "Oooooh... ouch. Sorry. I was unaware of how lucky I am to be your friend."  
• The list really goes on.  I invite all people out there to be real to themselves (myself included - I have been guilty before). 

Look inside, and tell yourself the REAL reason behind your service. 

   

"For of him unto whom much is given much is required" 

Doctrine and Covenants 82:3 (you can find this verse of scripture on lds.org) 

  Signing Off <3

Keepin' It Real Friday: "The Best Job in the World"

I'm BA-ACK!!!! 

And I'm Keepin' It Real...

Earlier today I was cleaning my house, and I thought to myself, 

"You know? Someone's got to tell it like it is!" 

That is what motivated me to get back on the blogging scene (which I really have missed, by the way), and THAT is what has motivated me to start the very first WEEKLY 

"Keepin' It Real Friday" blog entry.

#1 - "THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD"

So here's the story:

I'm sitting at my computer one evening, checkin' out facebook. Post after post after post from friends stating that THEY have "The Best Job in the World." What is that job? We can all chime in together and say it... A MOM! Pictures of my friends with their beloved angels, happy as can be. Pictures of kisses, funny faces, smiles, laughs, funny hats, cute babies, YOU NAME IT... it was there. The sheer

VOLUME 

 of these posts got me thinking...

(A couple months later):

I'm still reading these same kinds of posts over and over again until FINALLY I say out loud for Bryan to hear, "C'mon! Really??!!! No way do that many people really believe that being a mom is.... 'The Best Job in the World!' I mean, seriously... how can they really say that?" It's trying, it can be boring, it is exhausting, it's not glamorous, you get paid NOTHING, and you get told "No" all day long. How is that the best job ever?

I don't know about these people, but my idea of the best job in the world is one where I'm sipping Pina Coladas (virgin, of course) while at Disneyland. 

 You see, I don't know if that job exists, 

 BUT HEY! SIGN ME UP IF IT DOES!  

THAT'S the kind of job that would get me to wake up in the morning and say, 

"My gosh, I have the best job in the world." 

Call me crazy, but I don't say that sentence when I'm:

• Changing Diapers and wiping bums
• Up in the wee hours of the morning trying to get a wee little human to fall back asleep because of a) a nightmare, b) they're hungry/thirsty, c) they've got to go to the bathroom, d) the thunder scared them, e) "they're just not tired."
• Woken up in the morning by a scream and a whine for breakfast
• Dealing with temper tantrums
• Getting yelled at
• Getting kicked
• Getting sneezed on
• Not being listened to
• Breaking up a fight
• Getting pulled at
• Getting whined at
• Getting asked for money
• Trying to teach manners
• Listening to the attitude they have because they got put in time out
• Having things thrown at me
• Cleaning up ALL. DAY. LONG!

PALEEZE

Tell me you get the picture. The list really goes on and on. Being a mom is truly the HARDEST job I've ever had. And it's not really because of the above list, but it's mainly because you are the person who is responsible for the way they turn out as an adult... that's a lot of pressure! Just wait till your 

3 year-old starts dropping the F-bomb (in the CORRECT context, mind you). AND NO, HE DIDN'T LEARN IT FROM ME! You'll see what I'm talking about then. You have to discipline in a loving, but stern way. You have to make sure they know you mean business, but that they also know you love them more than words can describe. You have to give them choices, but not let them roam free. I'm learning all of this as a parent, yet they're still all under 5!!!! Just THINK of what I will have to learn when they hit puberty and get into their teenage years. Oh my....

 

Now, don't get me wrong... I love these three more than words can even describe. My life would not be the same without them, and my entire world would collapse around me if I lost one, but that doesn't mean that I would say that being their mom is the greatest, MOST WONDERFULLEST job ever! I will admit, it is probably the most rewarding job I've ever had. However, it also comes with the most exhaustion I've ever experienced too. 

Someone will argue, "But you didn't list all of the good things that happen as a mom! Those things are what makes it the best job in the world!" 

No need to. Check out FB. Everybody and their dog does it for me. THAT'S MY POINT!!! 

LET'S KEEP IT REAL! 

I mean... seriously, do we moms really wake up every morning thinking, "Yes! I get to do the same thing I did yesterday!" If you do, then more power to ya. You are better than I. 

This leads me to my last and final point - the pressure of social media. Why are we so scared to write how we are really feeling? Fear of argument? Rejection? Judgement? De-friending (heaven forbid)? Why am I expected to post that this is the best job in the world if I don't really feel like it is? 

Am I a bad mom because I don't think so? 

NO!

Quite frankly... I'm pretty dang good. ;)

But here's my point... Depression among women is sky high! We are so good at comparing ourselves to others that it has become ingrained in us. How can we out-do the other person, or worse... OH NO! THEY OUT-DID ME!!! Women know how to "fake it till they make it." We put on a happy face, tell everyone we are wonderful, judge EVERYONE who says life isn't perfect, and constantly post things on our statuses and blogs that will make others feel like our lives are heavenly. Well... I'm calling BLUFF!

I'm begging MOMS all over the world to help me out in "Keepin' it Real."

 Couldn't we solve so many more problems, as well as cultivate so many more friendships if we admitted that our lives weren't perfect? What if I looked at your perfect facebook page and thought to myself that there must be something wrong with me because I don't LOVE to play cars with my boy for three hours straight (IT'S TERRIBLE!!!! 5 minutes is my limit).

All I'm saying is this... Children are the Refiner's Fire. 

I am a better person now than I EVER would be without them. I was better with one than I was with none, better with two than with one, and now better with three than I was with two. However, I have been tested more and more with each one as well (and I know more is coming).

Some people may have read this and thought, "She's got it all wrong."

I'm going to venture a guess though, that I am actually in the majority. 

I'm simply "Keepin' It Real." Telling you like it is. Being a mom is well.....

Like this

Do I truly believe I have the best job in the world?

Yes I do.

But I don't believe I'll really know it enough to post it on FB until I'm a Grandma.

Signing off.... <3