Keepin' It Real Friday: "Why Are Some Women Just So Mean and Nasty?"

I know..... I know.....

Let it Be Known!

I missed a week of my "weekly" Keepin' It Real entries 
(after only two weeks). 

Forgive me???

   How can you resist a face like that?

To anyone who actually does read my entries (I think I know of 5 LOL...), I truly am sorry. :(

Quick Recap? Last Friday

• Up at 5:30 am to clean the kitchen, sweep, mop and clean the bathrooms. You want anything done around here? Has to be before the kids wake up, or after they go to sleep.     
• 9 am, I hosted preschool.  
• 11 am - lunch and babysitting (for a dear friend, and I WOULD do it again, so she knows!)  
• 2 pm - clean up the house again. 
• 3 pm - make tortillas for dinner and clean kitchen.  
• 4pm - make playdough and clean up kitchen.
• 5 pm - make dinner. 
• 6:30pm - fight children to go to sleep. 
• 7 pm - clean house and kitchen.
• And 8 pm - Start writing in my blog (write, delete, write, delete, write, delete... we'll get to that.) 
• 11pm - Ticked that I still have NOTHING... 
• 11:30 pm - give it up and go to sleep.

Literally, that was my day last Friday. In fact, that's what most of my days are like now (minus the blogging). No joke. Many people have asked me what having three kids is like, and that's it. No breathing room, no time for yourself.... literally. I used to think that's how it was when I only had one, but no. I didn't get it then. And I'm sure people with older kids, with more than three, or single parents, who are working and raising their children alone, are thinking I still don't know what hard is. It's all relative. I know some people think I'm over-exaggerating. Oh, believe me. I'm not. I'm not saying my life isn't easy in so many ways, but don't think for a second that any decision I make in my life are selfish anymore. I don't have time to make selfish decisions. 

But THAT... is for a different "Keepin' It Real" post. 

That's not the topic I'm feelin' today.

Today... I want to get to the nitty gritty...

#3 "Why Are Some Women Just So Mean and Nasty?" 

Okay... So Here's the HONEST TRUTH!

The reason I was writing for three hours last week is because I started worrying about offending someone. I kept writing stuff and then thought, "I can't write that!" 

But tonight... I don't care. For many reasons:  

1. I'm speaking the truth, and if someone doesn't like it, it's probably because they are part of the problem. 
2. It's my blog. Get off it if you don't like it.
3. Anyone who really knows me, knows that a new thing ticks me off every 30 minutes, and I'm not afraid to wear my emotions on my sleeve.
4. If you don't love that about me, find a new friend because...  
5. More people like that about me than people who don't.   
6. I can't write as though I'm someone I'm not. It wouldn't be me. 
7. This is a "Keepin' It Real" post! HEL-LO-O???? Nuff said.  

So... Moving O-on...

What is Wrong With Women??? 

 Where is this coming from? I'll tell you where it's coming from. I know a woman who is "supposed" to be "close" to me who has yet to call my TWO YEAR-OLD daughter, cute. 

WHAT'S THE HANG UP? SHE'S HAD TWO YEARS?!!!

You mean to tell me that my daughter who has a personality bigger than life itself has never made you think she's cute? Even in the slightest?!!!

I'm sorry. This face? Not cute? You're right. She's not. 

She's Absolutely Gorgeous!!!!

I know she's mine and all, and I'm supposed to think that, but I don't have to think it. I know it.

So what's the problem? Why can't I just drop this friend? It's too complicated, AND she's not the only one who's done it, AND that's not what matters right now. The problem is this... 

SOMEWHERE along the line, SOMEONE  told women that if they compliment someone else, they devalue themselves....           or something.

What is the Deal?!!!

 I ask for your forgiveness in advance as I will have MANY posts in the future encompassing this same thought. 

Just PLEASE tell me what it is about women that think we feel as though we have to be the best at everything? The best looking, the best dressed, the most popular, the best cook, the best mom with the best marriage, the best job, the best proposal story, the best dressed children, etc, etc, etc. But seriously, who the heck ingrained in our heads that being "the best" is all that matters?

Now Don't Get Me Wrong!

This is not all women! Notice my title says SOME! 

BUT, I know WAY TOO MANY LIKE THIS!

And I'm thinkin' 

It's Gotta Stop!!!!

 Some women are way too negative about themselves - put themselves down WAY too often. It's sad.

It's just as sad, however, when you watch and listen to other women who put others down to try to make themselves feel better.
 

But I'm not even talking about them either! (Today)

I'm talking about the silent women. The women who will ONLY talk positive about their own children, house, husband, food, job, money, you name it... but won't SAY A WORD about ANYTHING good that happens to anyone else. 

So.... What is it?!

I've got one answer and one only. 

ENVY

There really is no other explanation. When we can't be happy for someone else's successes, it really only means one thing - we are just mad that whatever it was didn't happen to us. 

Why Do I Know?

Because I'm "Keepin' It Real" and I have felt these same emotions. 

However!!!! I have stopped them before they've taken control of my actions!

 

What a sad life it would be to lead - happy when others are sad, silent and writhing inside when others are happy? Sure doesn't sound fun to me.

 Is it just me? Am I the only one who has come in contact with these women?

    Last point of all....

I DRAW THE LINE AT CHILDREN!

I don't care who you are. 

Children are PEOPLE! 

People who need love and respect. People who need to know other people care for them. People who need to hear they are beautiful, charming, smart and funny!

PEOPLE like YOU and ME!  

So to you women I say... How dare you?!!

 How dare you compare my child to yours?

How DARE you disrespect my children because you're afraid it will make your children look less special!

EVERY child is beautiful. Every child is smart. Every child has something to offer this world. Every child is needed for some grand purpose. Your child is no better than anyone else's. And NO compliment you give to any other child is hurting YOUR child. As long as you are still building your child up while complimenting the others, you will be doing nothing but teaching your children how to be HAPPY for other people's successes. 

    EVERY Woman and Child Is Beautiful. 

Signing off... <3 

    

 

 

  

Keepin' It Real Friday: Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way

 Update!!! Ever since my last blog entry, I have had a very calm AND FUN week with my kids. They have been well-behaved, cuddly, sweet and a joy to be around. I still stand by every word I wrote because let's face it, being a mom is hard, and not every week is like this.
 But it is definitely rewarding!  

MOST of my friends have been very humorous this last week as they've tagged me in their posts in order to inform me that they're keeping it real. I thank you for that. It's fun to read. Some others have gone OVER THE TOP with their positive-ness in the opposite direction (I'm sure just to prove a point), but whatever, I don't have time to deal with that. 

Dishonesty is transparent.

WHICH....  brings me to my next "Keepin' It Real" entry:

#2 Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way 

 Almost eight years ago, my husband and I decided we wanted to marry each other. I was the one for him, and he was the one for me. (Awwwwwww....) It was a pretty awesome day (considering the fact that that was the first time I actually dropped the "L-Bomb" too). BIG day! 

It was that same day that Bryan asked me a very important question that I'll never forget. 

"Do you promise to always be right by my side serving others?"

I said, "Of course!" 

Now, I will keep it real. A part of me said that just cause I didn't want to lose him. I mean, what did he mean by ALWAYS serving others? Was I going to be giving up my coveted husband/wife time to clean someone's house after they've moved? I don't even want to clean my OWN house, let alone someone else's! So get real... that wasn't really going to happen. 

However, I do REALLY enjoy helping people, so I thought, 

"Yeah. I can do that." 
 

And then, it happened. The beginning of our service journey.

  
We have been so happy ever since we met each other. And 

I REALLY AM BEING REAL!

Anyone who really knows us, knows that we truly have a wonderful relationship and love each other dearly.   

 Sure... we have our disagreements. I go through nights that I give him the silent treatment while he's completely confused. But we are completely and utterly happy. There has never been a day that I have woken up beside him wondering what I got myself into.  

Want to know the secret? Hahaha! I know we've only been married 7 1/2 years, and many more trials are to come, 

but I know what's keeping us happy. And that is... 

We both LOOOOOVE to serve.

I really give most credit to my amazing (hot) husband who would literally take his shirt off his back for anyone.

Heck, he'd take my shirt off too. (In a completely non-sexual way)  

LITERALLY,  

He puts anything and anyone before himself on the priority list.

He has been that way for as long as his mom can remember. And I have never seen him to act any differently. If you really know my husband, you know I'm speaking the truth.

I have always had a very sensitive heart. (Many of you may be laughing as you read that). BUT, I mean in the sense that I am VERY aware of those who are less fortunate than I. My parents raised me in a home where I learned excellent work ethic, and used it to help others in need. 

I never came anywhere near as selfless as Bryan... 

until recently. 

 Service has become second nature to Bryan and I. We look and pray for service opportunities on a daily basis. Sometimes we find them, sometimes we don't. 

The days that we don't... we're not REALLY looking,  

because the opportunities ARE out there..   

Where is she going with this?

Here it is:

I WISH EVERYONE KNEW

that real service is the key to happiness. 

Not the service that helps you save face. 

Not the service that is convenient to you. 

The service that truly makes you sacrifice.

The service that IS NOT convenient, but needed. 

So, why is this blog entry entitled 

"Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way?"  

Because I CAN'T STAND people who only serve when it is convenient to them, or only when it makes them look good. It drives me up the wall! 

This is why I stated at the beginning of this entry:

  
Dishonesty is transparent. 

I want you to know that you are not fooling anyone if you're not serving out of love. People WILL read right through it. 

 I mean... I am constantly in shock, AWE, jaw is dropped open with the amount of hypocrisy I see on the give/take scale. I HATE doing something for someone only to see them ungrateful, selfish, asking for more, and not "Paying It Forward."
 

Let It Be Known! I am "Keepin' It Real"

This is what I REALLY want to say to you when you are being selfish. 

   

• "I have children too. Guaranteed one of them has lost sleep because I decided to help you out."
• "I'm sick of working around your schedule. Time you worked around mine."
• "I'm sorry. I didn't know my life revolved around yours."
• "I didn't get the memo that your family was more important than mine."
• "Oooooh... ouch. Sorry. I was unaware of how lucky I am to be your friend."  
• The list really goes on.  I invite all people out there to be real to themselves (myself included - I have been guilty before). 

Look inside, and tell yourself the REAL reason behind your service. 

   

"For of him unto whom much is given much is required" 

Doctrine and Covenants 82:3 (you can find this verse of scripture on lds.org) 

  Signing Off <3

Keepin' It Real Friday: "The Best Job in the World"

I'm BA-ACK!!!! 

And I'm Keepin' It Real...

Earlier today I was cleaning my house, and I thought to myself, 

"You know? Someone's got to tell it like it is!" 

That is what motivated me to get back on the blogging scene (which I really have missed, by the way), and THAT is what has motivated me to start the very first WEEKLY 

"Keepin' It Real Friday" blog entry.

#1 - "THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD"

So here's the story:

I'm sitting at my computer one evening, checkin' out facebook. Post after post after post from friends stating that THEY have "The Best Job in the World." What is that job? We can all chime in together and say it... A MOM! Pictures of my friends with their beloved angels, happy as can be. Pictures of kisses, funny faces, smiles, laughs, funny hats, cute babies, YOU NAME IT... it was there. The sheer

VOLUME 

 of these posts got me thinking...

(A couple months later):

I'm still reading these same kinds of posts over and over again until FINALLY I say out loud for Bryan to hear, "C'mon! Really??!!! No way do that many people really believe that being a mom is.... 'The Best Job in the World!' I mean, seriously... how can they really say that?" It's trying, it can be boring, it is exhausting, it's not glamorous, you get paid NOTHING, and you get told "No" all day long. How is that the best job ever?

I don't know about these people, but my idea of the best job in the world is one where I'm sipping Pina Coladas (virgin, of course) while at Disneyland. 

 You see, I don't know if that job exists, 

 BUT HEY! SIGN ME UP IF IT DOES!  

THAT'S the kind of job that would get me to wake up in the morning and say, 

"My gosh, I have the best job in the world." 

Call me crazy, but I don't say that sentence when I'm:

• Changing Diapers and wiping bums
• Up in the wee hours of the morning trying to get a wee little human to fall back asleep because of a) a nightmare, b) they're hungry/thirsty, c) they've got to go to the bathroom, d) the thunder scared them, e) "they're just not tired."
• Woken up in the morning by a scream and a whine for breakfast
• Dealing with temper tantrums
• Getting yelled at
• Getting kicked
• Getting sneezed on
• Not being listened to
• Breaking up a fight
• Getting pulled at
• Getting whined at
• Getting asked for money
• Trying to teach manners
• Listening to the attitude they have because they got put in time out
• Having things thrown at me
• Cleaning up ALL. DAY. LONG!

PALEEZE

Tell me you get the picture. The list really goes on and on. Being a mom is truly the HARDEST job I've ever had. And it's not really because of the above list, but it's mainly because you are the person who is responsible for the way they turn out as an adult... that's a lot of pressure! Just wait till your 

3 year-old starts dropping the F-bomb (in the CORRECT context, mind you). AND NO, HE DIDN'T LEARN IT FROM ME! You'll see what I'm talking about then. You have to discipline in a loving, but stern way. You have to make sure they know you mean business, but that they also know you love them more than words can describe. You have to give them choices, but not let them roam free. I'm learning all of this as a parent, yet they're still all under 5!!!! Just THINK of what I will have to learn when they hit puberty and get into their teenage years. Oh my....

 

Now, don't get me wrong... I love these three more than words can even describe. My life would not be the same without them, and my entire world would collapse around me if I lost one, but that doesn't mean that I would say that being their mom is the greatest, MOST WONDERFULLEST job ever! I will admit, it is probably the most rewarding job I've ever had. However, it also comes with the most exhaustion I've ever experienced too. 

Someone will argue, "But you didn't list all of the good things that happen as a mom! Those things are what makes it the best job in the world!" 

No need to. Check out FB. Everybody and their dog does it for me. THAT'S MY POINT!!! 

LET'S KEEP IT REAL! 

I mean... seriously, do we moms really wake up every morning thinking, "Yes! I get to do the same thing I did yesterday!" If you do, then more power to ya. You are better than I. 

This leads me to my last and final point - the pressure of social media. Why are we so scared to write how we are really feeling? Fear of argument? Rejection? Judgement? De-friending (heaven forbid)? Why am I expected to post that this is the best job in the world if I don't really feel like it is? 

Am I a bad mom because I don't think so? 

NO!

Quite frankly... I'm pretty dang good. ;)

But here's my point... Depression among women is sky high! We are so good at comparing ourselves to others that it has become ingrained in us. How can we out-do the other person, or worse... OH NO! THEY OUT-DID ME!!! Women know how to "fake it till they make it." We put on a happy face, tell everyone we are wonderful, judge EVERYONE who says life isn't perfect, and constantly post things on our statuses and blogs that will make others feel like our lives are heavenly. Well... I'm calling BLUFF!

I'm begging MOMS all over the world to help me out in "Keepin' it Real."

 Couldn't we solve so many more problems, as well as cultivate so many more friendships if we admitted that our lives weren't perfect? What if I looked at your perfect facebook page and thought to myself that there must be something wrong with me because I don't LOVE to play cars with my boy for three hours straight (IT'S TERRIBLE!!!! 5 minutes is my limit).

All I'm saying is this... Children are the Refiner's Fire. 

I am a better person now than I EVER would be without them. I was better with one than I was with none, better with two than with one, and now better with three than I was with two. However, I have been tested more and more with each one as well (and I know more is coming).

Some people may have read this and thought, "She's got it all wrong."

I'm going to venture a guess though, that I am actually in the majority. 

I'm simply "Keepin' It Real." Telling you like it is. Being a mom is well.....

Like this

Do I truly believe I have the best job in the world?

Yes I do.

But I don't believe I'll really know it enough to post it on FB until I'm a Grandma.

Signing off.... <3

Back on Track??? Maybe?

It's been over a week since my last post, but there is a reason. Things have been... TOUGH! Of course, we're missing Bryan more than ever, and I think that has EVERYTHING to do with it. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't expect it to be this hard. I just figured I would feel overwhelmed, and be really on-edge being this pregnant, and having the two kids all to myself, but it's been much worse.

I also thought that James and Alexis were too little for these big changes to make a difference in their behavior. Boy... was I WRONG!!! James (although always crazy) has always been a sweet, tender-hearted boy (much like his father). He always rushes to apologize, and always wants to make sure I'm okay. But... starting about 3 days after Bryan left, he turned MEAN AND NASTY! He would yell and scream at me, say some of the rudest things, and would REFUSE to listen (just to name a few). The list really goes on and on. But really, just imagine a complete terror. That was James. It was embarrassing to even go anywhere for fear that a temper tantrum would begin. His pre-school teachers noticed that he was struggling too, the whole nine yards.

Alexis, although always independent, began to listen less (although that's hard to imagine), while at the same time became VERY CLINGY! She has NEVER had a hard time going to sleep at night, and ever since we moved to my G'ma's house, both she and James would lie in bed awake for nearly 3 hours every night!!! It has been an absolute nightmare on my end! Last night was the worst! 3 1/2 hours of screaming from Alexis. She never even did that as a newborn! She's always dove right into bed, and is asleep 10 min later. Others find it a miracle, really.  But finally, I caved. I couldn't do it anymore. I laid down on the floor with her, and within 2 minutes she was asleep! I knew I was in trouble - that she would expect this every night from now on. But I just didn't have it in me any more to keep fighting.

I've been exhausted! The kids are running me ragged. The two-man job has turned into a one-man job, and I thought it would be much easier to handle. Their "inability" to listen to instructions was quickly driving me insane. It was heartbreaking to see them struggle so badly with their Daddy gone. They don't understand why we just can't go with him. It got so bad yesterday, Jan. 16th, that I just knew I couldn't do it any longer. Something had to break, and I was just hoping that it wasn't me. I was not myself. I was not happy. I was afraid this was the beginning of a downward spiral. That was when I caved for Lexi. And that was when (after falling to my knees in desperate prayer) I went to sleep. 

And miraculously!!!! Today occurred! All three of us started the day well-rested and with smiles. James started using his "pleases" and "thank-yous" again. He wasn't screaming, and neither was Lexi. No whining was occurring, and they were eating. They laughed and played. It seemed as though they were back! But, was I? Still a little sad, but I was able to find motivation today! I cleaned the bathrooms, went grocery shopping, baked a cheesecake for my sis-in-law's bday. I was productive! And then the real test... bedtime. I didn't really let Lexi take a nap (except for about 20 min in the car). They took baths, got in jammies, and instead of laying them down at 7, I thought I would take baby steps, and try 8. Still climbing out of her bed at 8:15, I thought I was in trouble with Alexis, and James was crying that he was thirsty... but 8:20 hit, and BOOM!!! SILENCE!!!!!!! I checked, and they're both OUT LIKE A LIGHT!!! Could this really be happening? 

Are we really back on track??? I sure hope so. Life without Bryan is unbearable enough as it is. This would make the time go by a WHOLE lot quicker.

Happy Birthday BM!

Happy 24th Birthday to my little sis who I like to call the BM! (We only call her that cause it drives my mom crazy.) :) She got the name by being my "BridesMaid" at our wedding, and it's stuck ever since. Oh... and I'm the "Big B."

She leaves to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Columbus, OH in just a couple of days. I'm excited for her, but I'm really gonna miss talking to her. I think she'll be pretty dang amazing though. I love you little girl!

Up and Down

MY                                    WENT                                       THIS!

DAY                                             LIKE        

OVERWHELMED!!!!!!!!!

Only one word can truly sum up the way I have felt this week.

OVERWHELMED!!! 

Some has been good, some has been bad.

First, let me point one thing out. A few months ago, I told my good friend, Tami, that I would not feed anyone with any bull on my blog. We were discussing how people only write about the good stuff on their blogs, and then I told her, "When I have my blog, I'll say what's up." So Tami... this is for you!

Let's start with Monday, January 2nd...

 Overwhelmed with cleaning our apartment. We're not dirty people, but this was our first move... EVER... as a married couple, and like anyone will tell you, you just start to accumulate things. We started out with practically nothing, and moved with 2 1/2 kids, lots of toys, and LOTS of furniture. Took us 8 hours to clean the whole thing. (Note, I may have been a little OCD, but C'mon! There are other people moving in after us! It's gotta be clean.) We came to the conclusion at the end of the night that it would have been worth it to pay for a maid service. Lesson... learned. Check!

Tuesday & Wednesday...

OVERWHELMED with the thought of Bryan leaving! I can't stop crying, I'm on sensory overload, the kids are too much and too loud, the to-do list is too long, the thought of not having my other half with me for 2 1/2 months seems unbearable. I'm getting sick, I'm completely fatigued, feeling chlostrophobic in my G'ma's house (there's just nowhere to put our things... although I am SO grateful to have this place to stay.) The charlie horses in the middle of the night only get better when Bryan is here to help me, and THEN.... we get into a fender bender. My fault, the other driver is stupid. Chalk this day up as a SUCKY ONE! It's sets us behind just enough to miss every place to go out to eat by about 15 minutes. Supposed to be our date night. It's not going well. Just time to go to bed. 

DONE, DONE, AND DONE.

 Thursday, Jan. 5th

100% COMPLETELY Overwhelmed by the love our friends and family showed us. We had an open house for Bryan, so that people could wish him luck and say goodbye. We had a great turn-out. For three hours we had steady visitors, people we love dearly, wishing Bryan their best, and then turning to me and telling me that they are here for me while he is gone. And if I need any help... "Don't hesitate to call." If anyone knows me, that is a very difficult statement. I HATE asking people for help, but I know I'll need it over the next few months. Humility is definitely not my greatest strength (possibly my greatest weakness), and calling people for help will definitely require some humility. As hard as it has been to sit and wait for our "dreams to come true," the reality is, had we not been here this entire time, we never would have been able to form the relationships we have. We are so very blessed to have you all in our lives. (You know who you are, I hope... The list is too long for me to write specific names).

Friday, Jan. 6th (D-day)

The morning began at 3:30 am to take Bryan to the airport. James was out of it, and SCREAMED, I mean SCREAMED in the car for 35 minutes for us to turn around and/or stop the car. He wanted to be in bed. OVERWHELMING!!! At first I was overwhelmed with heartache for him. After about 15 minutes of a very loud, broken record, my heartache turned into ANGER. Pure anger. How was I going to do this without Bryan? He's the calm one of the two of us. I need him by my side. Not on the other side of the world. Back home, back to bed. Overwhelmed with the task ahead of me. Slept most of the day away. In the meantime, I received at least 10 to 15 texts or messages from friends telling me they are thinking of me, and they will be here to help at the drop of a hat if necessary. The best part about it... I totally believe them. Completely Overwhelmed by their love.

Saturday, Jan. 7th

So overwhelmed with my to-do list, and I'm sick. :( Just gotta do one thing at a time. I got a little bit done, but I just can't do everything I want to. I can't. And then I got to see Bryan's sweet face. Thank goodness for Skype. Oh, how we miss him already. So overwhelmed with gratitude for the people responsible for getting him there safely, and then the people who have taken care of him while he's been there. I need more sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.

So grateful for all who have helped "Overwhelm" me.