Keepin' It Real Friday: You Stick to Your Children, I'll stick to mine.

HEL-LO!

I'm ready today. 

 Ready to chat it up! (with a monkey, I suppose)

OKAY! 

Let's just get right down to it.

"KEEPIN' IT REAL FRIDAY":
#5: You Stick to Your Children, I'll Stick to Mine!

What's one thing you don't realize when you first become a mom?

You don't realize that this child comes with a sense of humor FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, and is also introducing you to the jungle of "Momhood!" 

Momhood is the place where every mom goes to tell the stories of her successes, woes, triumphs and trials. Many times... it's a good place to be. Many times... Well, "It's a jungle out there." 

I had no idea that from the moment I became a mom I would be BOMBARDED
 with mom tips, tricks, pointers, ideas, YOU NAME IT!

Now, don't get me wrong. I needed it. I mean, please... 
Does this look like the face of a girl who knows what she's doing?

NOPE! 

Cute? I know. ;) But completely exhausted and oblivious. There will be plenty of women who will say it was no big deal, no big adjustment. And it's true. I really didn't feel like it was either. HOWEVER, when I look back now at myself with my first baby, I realize that I literally had no freakin' idea WHAT I was doing. 

And I'm sorry. Anyone who tells you otherwise, is full of it. Your first baby is full of surprises for (what I'm assuming) will be for the rest of your life! James was my first baby, my first toddler, and he will be my first teenager. So let's be honest, I have NO clue what to expect, and parenting is ALL about trial and error.

(well... and picking battles, but that's for another time). 
 

So really, you feel more like this...

HAHAHAHA! 

That's how moms feel once the meds have worn off.

So, yes... I needed the help from my precious momhood peers. But, sometimes, TOO many times, it was unsolicited. It was a myriad of different examples of "Don't do that, and don't do this. But do do this, and do do that." AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!  

Forget it. Just run for the hills! This parenting stuff is for the birds.

BUT SERIOUSLY,

I needed the help then and I need it now. However, I have my people I go to for help. And most people are that way! So... if people aren't asking your opinion... maybe you shouldn't offer it.

Jus' sayin'... 

 And at least if you're going to offer it, ask the person if that's okay. 

Can't we all just be a little more self-aware? PA-LEEZE!!!!

I have a feeling that another "Keepin' It Real" post will be coming about this shortly.... But what I'm saying is this: Maybe we can remember that we're not all at the same stage in life? 

I mean, is that mom with ONE two year-old child REALLY giving me advice on my two year-old who is sandwiched in between a four year-old and a 10 month-old. IS SHE???? Oh... but she is. 

Did she really just tell me how to get my baby to hold still while nursing when she doesn't have two hoodlums climbing on her back while SHE'S nursing?

And the same thing goes for me. I can't tell a mom how to parent a teenager. Heck, I can't tell a mom how to parent a six year-old. Why? 'CAUSE I'M NOT THERE!!!!
 
GET THE POINT? 

Unsolicited advice = BAD
(And it really only makes the advice giver look like an idiot) 
 

I know, I know. Some of you are thinking, "Well look at you offering unsolicited advice." Once again...

  
IT'S MY BLOG!!!!

Honestly though, those of you who really know me, know that I don't ever tell you what to do with your lives, children, careers, etc. Everyone is free to make their own choices. Some choices will make you happy, some... not so much. I care deeply about my friends, and when I am asked for my opinion, I GLADLY share my HONEST opinion, but otherwise... I keep my mouth shut, and I show my support.

 

So... my question.

Why, WHY when we become mothers do we think we know what's best for every other child out there? 

Are you their mom? Do you know their personalities like I do? Do you know the conversation he/she and I had before we got to the party? Did you know they had a fever before we arrived at the grocery store? Did you know that I promised them a movie even though (HEAVEN FORBID) they are losing brain cells (no doubt)? Did you know they earned that money that you thought I just "freely gave them" as I'm spoiling my children? And what if I am spoiling my children? What's it to you? 

WHY DO YOU CARE????!!!!  
 

This is a major pet peeve of mine, IF you couldn't tell. So... How 'bout you just stick to parenting your children, and I'll stick to parenting mine? If they are not infringing on each other's rights to be happy, I think we're okay. 

If YOU wouldn't do that with YOUR child... GOOD FOR YOU!

I guess you're lucky you don't have my child then... 

Oh wait... they're lucky they don't have you, I guess.

Let's face it... 

 

NO ONE knows what the heck they are doing! 

NOT UNTIL THEY ARE DOING IT! 

(And even then, that's questionable). So let's not act like we do.  

    

Seriously though!!! OUR children have been sent to US for a reason. Whether that's for us to learn the lesson, or for them, I can't really say. But I can say this much. 

I NEED James, Alexis and Kent 

just as much (if not more) than they need me. 

Signing off... <3

   

 

      

    

Keepin' It Real Friday: There IS Hope

You know, I was getting on FB early this afternoon to post about what a wonderful day it had been. Lots of laughter, Bryan had just finished his finals, and now we had a month of freedom, and today was just feelin'.... 

GOOD!

I had all sorts of sassy ideas for my blog entry today, debating which one was going to be the 

LUCKY WINNER!!!

And then I saw the news. The horrific news of the shooting in Connecticut. A mindless and careless act of violence taken out on innocent victims... and on top of it, children??? That was just enough to send me right over the edge.  

President Obama is right. Our country has been through these types of incidents too many times, and the pain these tragic events are causing is real and worldwide. 

So I am here to "Keep it Real."

#4 "There IS Hope"

Today... I am DOWN IN THE DUMPS!

There are a million things running through my head right now, but I don't want to discuss most of them. 

I simply want to say that today...

I am sad. 

I am more than sad. I am DEVASTATED! And that's okay. It's healthy to feel these emotions. I need nothing more than: a) to admit the fact that my heart is hurting, b) to write in my blog (a little different this time) as a stress reliever, and c) to "keep it real." 

I know I talk a lot about how my kids drive me crazy. (And they do!) However, I still love them more than life itself. 

I would give any and all of my happiness if I knew it could make them happy.  

And the very thought of someone harming them makes me cringe. It makes me angry, it makes me sick to my stomach, and it fills my very heart with hatred towards anyone who would do such a thing.

But the fact is, I can't live my life with hatred in my heart. 

I won't!

So how do I find hope and turn this ship around? 

Please keep in mind: I have no connection whatsoever to the victims in CT, yet I CANNOT stop thinking about them. I cannot help but feel terribly negative feelings towards the shooter and anyone else who's ever done the same type of thing. And although those negative emotions are normal (and even healthy) to feel for awhile, 

I'm going to have to bounce back.

And this is just me!!! A complete outsider! Imagine how family members and friends of the victims feel?!!!

I can't.

So here's where I am REALLY going to "keep it real" for you. Most of you should know by now that I won't say or write something that I don't truly believe. 

What I am about to write, I know to be real. I recognize that others will not feel anywhere near the same way, but that's okay. Once again, it's my blog, and I HAVE to be real to myself and to any who may read it. 

As I have contemplated the lives of these children and their families, two things keep running through my mind. 

1) This life is not the end, and 

2) Families are meant to be together forever.

Sure, this may be easy for me to say, but it wasn't always.

You want real?

I AM A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS

I have never been one to make a huge announcement stating my religion. I usually just let people find out on their own. However, after today's events have transpired, I feel as though it is necessary for me to keep this aspect of my life as real as possible...

Because the two aforementioned thoughts give me hope.

Here's real:

The children who were killed today will see their families again. It won't take the pain and hurt away now, but it can provide a feeling of HOPE that these most precious relationships we've formed on this earth cannot come to such an abrupt end.

And next... I believe that Our Father in Heaven designed the family unit in order to provide happiness. Almost every one of my favorite memories is tied to a family member of some kind. So why (if this life is not the end) should our happiness with family members end here on earth as well? It doesn't have to. I have hope in a Supreme Being who is more concerned about our welfare than we could ever fathom.

I am "Keeping It Real"...

Angels are among us... and

THERE IS HOPE!!!!

Signing off... <3