A Caribbean Mess

A Caribbean Mess

Friday, December 21, 2012

Keepin' It Real Friday: You Stick to Your Children, I'll stick to mine.


I'm ready today. 

 Ready to chat it up! (with a monkey, I suppose)

Let's just get right down to it.

#5: You Stick to Your Children, I'll Stick to Mine!

What's one thing you don't realize when you first become a mom?

You don't realize that this child comes with a sense of humor FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, and is also introducing you to the jungle of "Momhood!" 

Momhood is the place where every mom goes to tell the stories of her successes, woes, triumphs and trials. Many times... it's a good place to be. Many times... Well, "It's a jungle out there." 

I had no idea that from the moment I became a mom I would be BOMBARDED
 with mom tips, tricks, pointers, ideas, YOU NAME IT!

Now, don't get me wrong. I needed it. I mean, please... 
Does this look like the face of a girl who knows what she's doing?
Cute? I know. ;) But completely exhausted and oblivious. There will be plenty of women who will say it was no big deal, no big adjustment. And it's true. I really didn't feel like it was either. HOWEVER, when I look back now at myself with my first baby, I realize that I literally had no freakin' idea WHAT I was doing. 
And I'm sorry. Anyone who tells you otherwise, is full of it. Your first baby is full of surprises for (what I'm assuming) will be for the rest of your life! James was my first baby, my first toddler, and he will be my first teenager. So let's be honest, I have NO clue what to expect, and parenting is ALL about trial and error.
(well... and picking battles, but that's for another time). 
So really, you feel more like this...
That's how moms feel once the meds have worn off.
So, yes... I needed the help from my precious momhood peers. But, sometimes, TOO many times, it was unsolicited. It was a myriad of different examples of "Don't do that, and don't do this. But do do this, and do do that." AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!  
Forget it. Just run for the hills! This parenting stuff is for the birds.

I needed the help then and I need it now. However, I have my people I go to for help. And most people are that way! So... if people aren't asking your opinion... maybe you shouldn't offer it.
Jus' sayin'... 

 And at least if you're going to offer it, ask the person if that's okay. 
Can't we all just be a little more self-aware? PA-LEEZE!!!!

I have a feeling that another "Keepin' It Real" post will be coming about this shortly.... But what I'm saying is this: Maybe we can remember that we're not all at the same stage in life? 

I mean, is that mom with ONE two year-old child REALLY giving me advice on my two year-old who is sandwiched in between a four year-old and a 10 month-old. IS SHE???? Oh... but she is

Did she really just tell me how to get my baby to hold still while nursing when she doesn't have two hoodlums climbing on her back while SHE'S nursing?

And the same thing goes for me. I can't tell a mom how to parent a teenager. Heck, I can't tell a mom how to parent a six year-old. Why? 'CAUSE I'M NOT THERE!!!!

Unsolicited advice = BAD
(And it really only makes the advice giver look like an idiot) 
I know, I know. Some of you are thinking, "Well look at you offering unsolicited advice." Once again...

Honestly though, those of you who really know me, know that I don't ever tell you what to do with your lives, children, careers, etc. Everyone is free to make their own choices. Some choices will make you happy, some... not so much. I care deeply about my friends, and when I am asked for my opinion, I GLADLY share my HONEST opinion, but otherwise... I keep my mouth shut, and I show my support.
So... my question.
Why, WHY when we become mothers do we think we know what's best for every other child out there? 
Are you their mom? Do you know their personalities like I do? Do you know the conversation he/she and I had before we got to the party? Did you know they had a fever before we arrived at the grocery store? Did you know that I promised them a movie even though (HEAVEN FORBID) they are losing brain cells (no doubt)? Did you know they earned that money that you thought I just "freely gave them" as I'm spoiling my children? And what if I am spoiling my children? What's it to you? 
WHY DO YOU CARE????!!!!  
This is a major pet peeve of mine, IF you couldn't tell. So... How 'bout you just stick to parenting your children, and I'll stick to parenting mine? If they are not infringing on each other's rights to be happy, I think we're okay. 

If YOU wouldn't do that with YOUR child... GOOD FOR YOU!
I guess you're lucky you don't have my child then... 
Oh wait... they're lucky they don't have you, I guess.
Let's face it... 
NO ONE knows what the heck they are doing! 
(And even then, that's questionable). So let's not act like we do.  
Seriously though!!! OUR children have been sent to US for a reason. Whether that's for us to learn the lesson, or for them, I can't really say. But I can say this much. 

I NEED James, Alexis and Kent 
just as much (if not more) than they need me. 

Signing off... <3



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