I'm BA-ACK!!!!
And I'm Keepin' It Real...
Earlier today I was cleaning my house, and I thought to myself,
"You know? Someone's got to tell it like it is!"
That is what motivated me to get back on the blogging scene (which I really have missed, by the way), and THAT is what has motivated me to start the very first WEEKLY
"Keepin' It Real Friday" blog entry.
#1 - "THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD"
So here's the story:
I'm sitting at my computer one evening, checkin' out facebook. Post after post after post from friends stating that THEY have "The Best Job in the World." What is that job? We can all chime in together and say it... A MOM! Pictures of my friends with their beloved angels, happy as can be. Pictures of kisses, funny faces, smiles, laughs, funny hats, cute babies, YOU NAME IT... it was there. The sheer
VOLUME
of these posts got me thinking...
(A couple months later):
I'm still reading these same kinds of posts over and over again until FINALLY I say out loud for Bryan to hear, "C'mon! Really??!!! No way do that many people really believe that being a mom is.... 'The Best Job in the World!' I mean, seriously... how can they really say that?" It's trying, it can be boring, it is exhausting, it's not glamorous, you get paid NOTHING, and you get told "No" all day long. How is that the best job ever?
I don't know about these people, but my idea of the best job in the world is one where I'm sipping Pina Coladas (virgin, of course) while at Disneyland.
You see, I don't know if that job exists,
BUT HEY! SIGN ME UP IF IT DOES!
THAT'S the kind of job that would get me to wake up in the morning and say,
"My gosh, I have the best job in the world."
Call me crazy, but I don't say that sentence when I'm:
- Changing Diapers and wiping bums
- Up in the wee hours of the morning trying to get a wee little human to fall back asleep because of a) a nightmare, b) they're hungry/thirsty, c) they've got to go to the bathroom, d) the thunder scared them, e) "they're just not tired."
- Woken up in the morning by a scream and a whine for breakfast
- Dealing with temper tantrums
- Getting yelled at
- Getting kicked
- Getting sneezed on
- Not being listened to
- Breaking up a fight
- Getting pulled at
- Getting whined at
- Getting asked for money
- Trying to teach manners
- Listening to the attitude they have because they got put in time out
- Having things thrown at me
- Cleaning up ALL. DAY. LONG!
PALEEZE
Tell me you get the picture. The list really goes on and on. Being a mom is truly the HARDEST job I've ever had. And it's not really because of the above list, but it's mainly because you are the person who is responsible for the way they turn out as an adult... that's a lot of pressure! Just wait till your
3 year-old starts dropping the F-bomb (in the CORRECT context, mind you). AND NO, HE DIDN'T LEARN IT FROM ME! You'll see what I'm talking about then. You have to discipline in a loving, but stern way. You have to make sure they know you mean business, but that they also know you love them more than words can describe. You have to give them choices, but not let them roam free. I'm learning all of this as a parent, yet they're still all under 5!!!! Just THINK of what I will have to learn when they hit puberty and get into their teenage years. Oh my....
Now, don't get me wrong... I love these three more than words can even describe. My life would not be the same without them, and my entire world would collapse around me if I lost one, but that doesn't mean that I would say that being their mom is the greatest, MOST WONDERFULLEST job ever! I will admit, it is probably the most rewarding job I've ever had. However, it also comes with the most exhaustion I've ever experienced too.
Someone will argue, "But you didn't list all of the good things that happen as a mom! Those things are what makes it the best job in the world!"
No need to. Check out FB. Everybody and their dog does it for me. THAT'S MY POINT!!!
LET'S KEEP IT REAL!
I mean... seriously, do we moms really wake up every morning thinking, "Yes! I get to do the same thing I did yesterday!" If you do, then more power to ya. You are better than I.
This leads me to my last and final point - the pressure of social media. Why are we so scared to write how we are really feeling? Fear of argument? Rejection? Judgement? De-friending (heaven forbid)? Why am I expected to post that this is the best job in the world if I don't really feel like it is?
Am I a bad mom because I don't think so?
NO!
Quite frankly... I'm pretty dang good. ;)
But here's my point... Depression among women is sky high! We are so good at comparing ourselves to others that it has become ingrained in us. How can we out-do the other person, or worse... OH NO! THEY OUT-DID ME!!! Women know how to "fake it till they make it." We put on a happy face, tell everyone we are wonderful, judge EVERYONE who says life isn't perfect, and constantly post things on our statuses and blogs that will make others feel like our lives are heavenly. Well... I'm calling BLUFF!
I'm begging MOMS all over the world to help me out in "Keepin' it Real."
Couldn't we solve so many more problems, as well as cultivate so many more friendships if we admitted that our lives weren't perfect? What if I looked at your perfect facebook page and thought to myself that there must be something wrong with me because I don't LOVE to play cars with my boy for three hours straight (IT'S TERRIBLE!!!! 5 minutes is my limit).
All I'm saying is this... Children are the Refiner's Fire.
I am a better person now than I EVER would be without them. I was better with one than I was with none, better with two than with one, and now better with three than I was with two. However, I have been tested more and more with each one as well (and I know more is coming).
Some people may have read this and thought, "She's got it all wrong."
I'm going to venture a guess though, that I am actually in the majority.
I'm simply "Keepin' It Real." Telling you like it is. Being a mom is well.....
Like this
Do I truly believe I have the best job in the world?
Yes I do.
But I don't believe I'll really know it enough to post it on FB until I'm a Grandma.
Signing off.... <3
Amen sista. And those that post that obviously haven't ever had a kid make it to the age of 12 or beyond.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! I haven't even been there yet! LOL! But that was EXACTLY my assumption as I wrote this last night.
DeleteWell here I am to stir your pot right back. ;) JK
ReplyDeleteFirst off, let me say that I completely agree with most of this. Also, I have to admit that some of my FB posts probably helped lead you to doing this post, hehe. I want to say first, I stand by my comment of it's "the best job" and second I don't do it to make anyone else feel inadequate or terrible. That's never my intention.
I do think it's the best job in the world. Granted my kid is only two and I only have one of them so right there we are going through different experiences and maybe I will change my mind later; who knows. Honestly, though, I do love this job not because I love all the tedious tasks, break downs, and difficult issues but because OVERALL it does have the best rewards. Those rewards are tiny, but at the end of the day they can make all of that worth it. You know, when your child says, "mama I missed you!" for the first time; you feel like a million bucks because your child loves YOU unconditionally. Again this could just be the novelty of my first and perhaps it will wear off, we'll see. I guess I hear so much in the media how motherhood is so difficult, thankless, boring, and "oh your JUST a mom" that I feel like it's not only important to remind myself on the hard days, but also to post something positive because I remember before I had my son, thinking that being a mom is probably going to suck but you do it because it's important. I didn't realize how much love you feel for them and how the highs are so wonderful; yes the lows are some of the worst I've felt to date, but I don't want to focus on those.
Sure I may vent and I think it's perfectly okay to do that, but don't knock me when I want to say something good. I don't do it to mask how I really feel or act like everything in my life is perfect because it DEFINITELY is not that way, but that is how I felt at that moment and it's much easier to say something positive then to post trials which tend to be extremely personal for all of your FB friends to see, (which I don't know about you, but for me includes everyone from close friends and family to the guy that sells me diapers at the carnage). lol
I think the other thing about me is that because I have a mother with a mental illness, who tried to do the best she could but didn't give me the greatest example of what motherhood is all about, maybe I'm sort of experiencing the positive things really all for the very first time... if that makes any sense.
When I got married and more when I got pregnant I worried (and still worry) all the time: am I being a good mother? When I lose my temper am I acting like her? Will I leave similar emotional scars on my own kids because of what I experienced? You know, what you do is what you know? Logically I believe this is not the case because the fact that I am self aware is already a giant leap in the right direction.
Jillian I believe that you are a pretty self-aware person as well. So I don't doubt for one second that you are not an amazing mother. The rough days are rough (from my limited experience so far), but the good moments are awesome. I never experienced that kind of excitement in any of my previous jobs so that is why I can say that I think it's the best job I could be doing right now ("in the world" is probably a bit dramatic but this is what I mean when I say it, haha).
I appreciate the fact that you are voicing your opinion about this. I think that so many can agree and relate with you. Again I do as well. I just wanted to explain a little of my perspective. Thanks for being someone who I feel comfortable being honest with. I love that you keep it real. You do it in real life too. I never have to second guess what you say because usually it is exactly what you mean. Keep it up. :)
Thanks for the post. Sorry for the novel of a response. lol
Hey Erin, I appreciate the response. I totally see what you're saying. We've already had a chance to talk ;) but I thought I would say a couple of things so other people could see (if they like).
DeleteI did not want this post to come off negative in the least degree. I am grateful every day for the fact that I have the opportunity to be a mom. I think it's so good to keep a positive perspective... it's the only thing that gets you through (but that's true for ALL jobs in ALL walks of life too). I just don't like it when people fantasize the Mom job either and pretend it's something that it's not.
I remember when I first had James. It was so fun to have this precious newborn in my arms. I loved cuddling him, singing to him, holding him, but I was at home... and I got BORED! I longed for adult interaction again. And then I talked to another friend of mine who just had her first baby and I said, "So how do you like being at home?" And she responded, "Oh I love it! It's the best thing I've ever done." I remember thinking, "Really? I don't believe you are really as happy as you let on."
That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about. You are SO right though. The great moments are AMAZING... indescribable. That's why I said in my post that it is the most REWARDING job I've ever had, and that's why I want 5 or 6 kids. I don't do this cause I HATE it. I do it because I want to. I just wouldn't classify it as "the best job in the world." That's all.
I'm glad that you feel like you can be honest as well. Most importantly, I'm glad that you know that I am an honest person. That means a lot to me.
Jill, stop using this blog as your social platform to perfect the world and start using it to post pictures and stories of Lexi. That's what I want to see...she is too cute:)
ReplyDeleteJust joking! I like hearing your perspective and I like that you are real about whatever problems you are facing and thinking about. I like to hear the honesty...I know that I can feel inadequate when I hear about how wonderful someone else's life is...especially when I have things happening in my life like what I recorded on my blog post entitle "Poop, it's what's for dinner." It's good to hear about the good and the bad.
Hahahaha CeCe!!!! But I CAN perfect the world!!! One blog post at a time! You just wait and see. World Peace is on it's way because of "A Caribbean Mess." :)
DeleteI will be posting things about Lexi. How can you not??? That girl's got a new story every two seconds. LOL!
And last... I'm glad you enjoyed the perspective. You know as well as anyone as you've watched me firsthand as a mom that I love what I do, it's just not all roses. More to come CeCe! ;)
I totally agree with everything you have to say, but I have two theories about why people just mainly focus on writing about the good. #1 I do not want to relive that bad junk. I already lived it once today. I don't want to think about it again enough to write about it. #2 I had some friends who felt like you did and started a blog called confessions (realities?) of a stay at home mom. There were 6 girls and they each had a day of the week they were assigned to write on. Everyday someone got on there and complained about some aspect of being a sahm. It was so depressing and annoying. Why would I want to spend my precious free time reading about someone complaining about what I do everyday. Nope. In my free time I want to be uplifted or amused. LOL! But like I said I see your point, it can definitely be taken too far the other direction. I roll my eyes every time someone says it's the best job in the world. And I about killed the person who told me they were so jealous of my luxurious life. (Single no kids. LOL!!) Miss ya Jill. I'm excited for more keeping it real posts!
ReplyDeleteFirst, Reliving the bad junk... I totally get that! Never thought of it that way before. Haha. And when I read your second reason, I was appalled, honestly. That does sound super annoying and depressing. I think there's way too much negative stuff out there about being a mom... I DEFINITELY did not want to contribute to that. (I'm quite disappointed in myself if I did.) I simply have, like you said, "Rolled my eyes" at that description of my job enough that I finally just had to say SOMETHING! I was going crazy inside!!!!
DeleteMy hope with this post was to say... "Hey! I'm a Mom. I love it, but it's hard, and anyone who says otherwise is full of crap." :) Miss you!!!!
You did not contribute to anything negative, and I wasn't annoyed or depressed by your post! I seriously thought after I had DJ that something was wrong with me! Why am I not loving every minute this? (Why can't I get him to stop crying? Why can't I keep the house clean? How did I ruin dinner AGAIN!!! LOL!) But I've "gotten real" with enough other moms to see that it's not all fairy tales. I'm glad you wrote this. I do think so many people don't voice how they really feel because they are scared they're alone or that they'll be judged. So sad!
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ReplyDeleteI wanted to comment when I saw this entry last week, and i have been so busy that I just forgot. First of all, I love you. You are hilarious. And I love the last picture. Second, I know people have been saying this, but I really agree. Being a mom is, to say the least, tough. It's challenging. You don't get an instruction guide to being a parent. But it truly is rewarding. When I got home from work tonight, I walked in the door, Ali was right there, and she just gave me a gigantic hug. Knowing that she really missed me just melted my heart. Anyway, keep up these posts. I love reading what you write.
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