A Caribbean Mess

A Caribbean Mess

Friday, November 23, 2012

Keepin' It Real Friday: Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way

 Update!!! Ever since my last blog entry, I have had a very calm AND FUN week with my kids. They have been well-behaved, cuddly, sweet and a joy to be around. I still stand by every word I wrote because let's face it, being a mom is hard, and not every week is like this.
 But it is definitely rewarding!  

MOST of my friends have been very humorous this last week as they've tagged me in their posts in order to inform me that they're keeping it real. I thank you for that. It's fun to read. Some others have gone OVER THE TOP with their positive-ness in the opposite direction (I'm sure just to prove a point), but whatever, I don't have time to deal with that. 

Dishonesty is transparent.

WHICH....  brings me to my next "Keepin' It Real" entry:
#2 Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way 
 Almost eight years ago, my husband and I decided we wanted to marry each other. I was the one for him, and he was the one for me. (Awwwwwww....) It was a pretty awesome day (considering the fact that that was the first time I actually dropped the "L-Bomb" too). BIG day! 
It was that same day that Bryan asked me a very important question that I'll never forget. 
"Do you promise to always be right by my side serving others?"
I said, "Of course!" 
Now, I will keep it real. A part of me said that just cause I didn't want to lose him. I mean, what did he mean by ALWAYS serving others? Was I going to be giving up my coveted husband/wife time to clean someone's house after they've moved? I don't even want to clean my OWN house, let alone someone else's! So get real... that wasn't really going to happen. 
However, I do REALLY enjoy helping people, so I thought, 
"Yeah. I can do that." 
And then, it happened. The beginning of our service journey.

We have been so happy ever since we met each other. And 

Anyone who really knows us, knows that we truly have a wonderful relationship and love each other dearly.   
 Sure... we have our disagreements. I go through nights that I give him the silent treatment while he's completely confused. But we are completely and utterly happy. There has never been a day that I have woken up beside him wondering what I got myself into.  

Want to know the secret? Hahaha! I know we've only been married 7 1/2 years, and many more trials are to come, 
but I know what's keeping us happy. And that is... 

We both LOOOOOVE to serve.
I really give most credit to my amazing (hot) husband who would literally take his shirt off his back for anyone.

Heck, he'd take my shirt off too. (In a completely non-sexual way)  
He puts anything and anyone before himself on the priority list.

He has been that way for as long as his mom can remember. And I have never seen him to act any differently. If you really know my husband, you know I'm speaking the truth.
I have always had a very sensitive heart. (Many of you may be laughing as you read that). BUT, I mean in the sense that I am VERY aware of those who are less fortunate than I. My parents raised me in a home where I learned excellent work ethic, and used it to help others in need. 
I never came anywhere near as selfless as Bryan... 
until recently. 

 Service has become second nature to Bryan and I. We look and pray for service opportunities on a daily basis. Sometimes we find them, sometimes we don't. 
The days that we don't... we're not REALLY looking,  
because the opportunities ARE out there..   

Where is she going with this?
Here it is:
that real service is the key to happiness. 
Not the service that helps you save face. 
Not the service that is convenient to you. 
The service that truly makes you sacrifice.
The service that IS NOT convenient, but needed. 

So, why is this blog entry entitled 
"Some People Just Rub You the Wrong Way?"  
Because I CAN'T STAND people who only serve when it is convenient to them, or only when it makes them look good. It drives me up the wall! 

This is why I stated at the beginning of this entry:
Dishonesty is transparent. 
I want you to know that you are not fooling anyone if you're not serving out of love. People WILL read right through it. 
 I mean... I am constantly in shock, AWE, jaw is dropped open with the amount of hypocrisy I see on the give/take scale. I HATE doing something for someone only to see them ungrateful, selfish, asking for more, and not "Paying It Forward."
Let It Be Known! I am "Keepin' It Real"
This is what I REALLY want to say to you when you are being selfish. 
  • "I have children too. Guaranteed one of them has lost sleep because I decided to help you out."
  • "I'm sick of working around your schedule. Time you worked around mine."
  • "I'm sorry. I didn't know my life revolved around yours."
  • "I didn't get the memo that your family was more important than mine."
  • "Oooooh... ouch. Sorry. I was unaware of how lucky I am to be your friend."  
  • The list really goes on.  I invite all people out there to be real to themselves (myself included - I have been guilty before). 
Look inside, and tell yourself the REAL reason behind your service. 
"For of him unto whom much is given much is required" 
Doctrine and Covenants 82:3 (you can find this verse of scripture on lds.org) 
  Signing Off <3


  1. Jillian- I really don't think many people can get away with a post on serving others, but you are one person, in my book, (which, of course, is the only one that matters...hehehe) who can. I just want you to know that I have repeatedly noticed yours and Brian's heart for serving others and it has been a blessing : )
    The part of your post about the importance of serving for the right reasons made me think of the passage in Philippians 2:
    " 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

    5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

    6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
    7 rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
    8 And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
    even death on a cross!"

    I share many of your pet peeves, mainly that most people are only willing to serve if it is convenient for them. It really TICKS me off, but then it's CRAZY I find myself doing the same thing as them!!! I often have to remind myself when I am most frustrated that really, if Christ served ME to the point of death, how can I expect better for myself? But then I forget this truth and then either get TICKED at some selfish person again OR I am the selfish person.
    You will have to explain how the "Doctrine and Covenants" works...I looked it up but only read the section you quoted...is it Bible verses interwoven with Church teachings?

    Thanks for your willing service to our family this year...we will miss you all so much!!!
    Christine Van Antwerp

    1. Dang it!!!! I just replied and lost it all!!!! Grrrrr....

      I will try to write it again. It's never nearly as good the second time. Boooo!

      Thanks Christine! You just paid me one of the greatest compliments of ALL time! We definitely love to put smiles on people's faces, but I still have a long way to go. Many times I serve people begrudgingly. :( I'm working on it! As for you, YOU have ALWAYS been there when I've needed you, and always popped up as the right person at the right time. You are one of the most giving people I have ever met, and a great example at that. We feel very blessed to have met you here as well. We are not looking forward to you leaving. ;(

      Thank you for sharing that scripture passage from Phillipians. I love it! As for the Doctrine and Covenants... it is a collection of recordings from modern-day revelation from God to (primarily) Joseph Smith. It provides us with a lot of history of our early Saints, their persecutions, trials, and travels. It also provides us with the framework of our restored church and explains the way it operates. Essentially, it is a collection of answers God gave in response to our prophet, Joseph Smith's prayers.

      Here is the link of the "Introduction" of the Doctrine and Covenants. It will explain it much better than I. :)


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  3. That's awesome... I admit, I'm not good at this... but I am trying. It is hard when it isn't your nature. But thanks for the reminder. :)

    1. It is hard! It takes so much time and effort, and it is SO easy to get caught up with the every day things we have going on. I know I do. So, at this point in time, I pray for opportunities to arise (and they almost always do). It's hard to actively look for them (especially with your little ones that you're SERVING ALL. DAY. LONG!)

      P.S. I bet you're better than you think you are! ;) So good to hear from you!