It has been almost TWO years since I have written a blog post! TWO YEARS!!!
I'm sorry I have deprived you of such awesomeness for so long.
I can't explain my entire absence from the blogosphere because I just can't remember all the reasons. However, I can explain what has caused my absence for the last year or so. (And of COURSE, I will always place SOME type of blame on the fact that I have 4 children and a husband in med school.)
Where's the 4th? He doesn't like my picture taking habits. Where's my husband? Duh... Studying!
I really loved doing these "Keepin' It Real" posts back in the day. I received great feedback (from the friends who liked it, I guess). It was a great place for me to release my thoughts and emotions. I thought I was doing something special and different. I didn't want to share my day to day life on my blog. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's what my Instagram and FB pages were for.
I wanted to be me. "Raw" me.
That has to be refreshing to see, right?
And then... you know how when you're car shopping, and you decide that you want a specific car, and all of a sudden you see that car EVERYWHERE?! Even though you never noticed it before?
That's kind of what happened to my "Keepin' It Real" blog.
I still like to claim that everybody copied me. THEY DID! (Okay fine... that's not true). But all of a sudden I was seeing #keepinitreal posts EVERYWHERE by every mom in every city of every state. It was out of control. I still don't know if it all happened in my head? Or did it become a trend?
I ALWAYS KNEW I'd be a trendsetter!!!!
I have no idea. All I knew was that my "thing" was no longer "my thing." I didn't want to jump on the bandwagon. I don't do that for ANYONE or ANYTHING. I even refused to read Harry Potter for years because everybody was doing it. (Although, admittedly, I LOVE those books now!)
Basically, everyone was stealing "MY THING!"
Why am I going to write about my real life when every other mom and their DOG are doing the same thing?! It made my posts boring. It made them mundane. I thought my insights no longer held value.
But not only that....
Come to find out, They were doing the "real" bit WRONG! They were negative, they were bashing the "fake" people. They were saying stuff like, "I'm real because I don't make heart shaped cupcakes from a square muffin tin." *over-exaggeration* Do you get my point, though?
These "real" people gave me a bad name.
They left a bad taste in my mouth.
Isaac's 1st Ocean Experience - Everyone's gotta eat some sand
All of a sudden, these "keeping it real people" were putting down everyone else who had talents where they did not; and then called them FAKE! NO, NO, NO!!!
I did NOT want to be a part of that!
IS THAT HOW I SOUNDED?!
I have friends and family members who do the most AMAZING things at home... holidays, crafts, treats, home projects, bday parties, etc. I can't do it, but I think it's amazing!
I'm sure a few of my posts came across more negative, (i.e. my first... "The Best Job in the World") but it wasn't to complain about my children or husband, talk bad about my life or other people. I was just trying to make a point about the sheer VOLUME of posts I was seeing about this "amazing" mom life I was living! Yes, I LOVE it, and I don't want to be doing anything else, but it's hard. And I just wanted to make it clear to other young moms out there that life as a mom isn't all the dandelions and roses that you see on social media. It was merely supposed to be a reminder that when those young moms are having a bad day, it's okay. Other moms are too. On the other hand, I have also grown and matured as a mom since that first post, and do have a slightly different opinion (although I still stand by what I wrote).
AND THEN... to make matters worse... after these intruder "real" posts seemed to hit their climax,
the "Anti-keepin' it real" posts started coming....
"Just because I keep my house clean, doesn't mean I'm fake."
FOR THE LOVE!!!!
And so??? I quit.
I saw myself in a lose-lose situation. I could NOT win with my real posts anymore. Someone was going to be offended thinking I was tearing them down. Someone was going to get offended thinking I was calling them fake. Someone was going to think I was negative and cynical. Someone was going to think I was ungrateful for my children, husband, and life.
But that wasn't the case at all!
I LOVE MY LIFE!!!
But some days??? I hate it.
I have flaws, I have weaknesses, and I make mistakes.
Am I a bad person because I'm not afraid to share them? I think that's a sign of strength, is it not?
So it was goodbye to the blogging world for awhile, and I just kept it strictly to the FB and Instagram posts. But I've really missed writing. I regularly have blog entry ideas pop into my head, and I start to compose them in my mind, but I never write them down because I honestly felt like people didn't want to hear it. "Just keep the happy pictures coming."
But I didn't know where I fit into that.
It's not that I'm not happy, but I'm not perfect.
I know... that's gonna make someone mad. NOBODY IS PERFECT, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT ANYONE I KNOW IS CLAIMING TO BE!
I'm just saying it's not ME to only post about the times my children and I are getting along, because quite frankly... I find moments like these...
QUITE entertaining and hilarious.
And the fact is? I've taken heart, and I'm ready to be "ME" again.
I like it when you like me, but I like myself more... when I AM me.
Signing off... <3